Album Bracketology, Part Four: The Hot Dog Cart
In the midst of a pandemic, one man is writing an “album tournament.”
BY MATTHEW KAUFFMAN SMITH
[Note: Propeller’s editorial staff has ignored all messages attempting to assign an editor to Album Bracketology. As is traditional, the site will nevertheless allow Matthew Kauffman Smith to publish his double-elimination “music tournament.” His system is confusing and his taste is mediocre at best. We have asked our editorial intern to post the installments. Anyone reading beyond this point does so at their own risk.]
Part 1: Early Eliminations
Part 2: Lazy Use of Letters
Part 3: Canadians
Part 4: The Hot Dog Cart
Dear Bracket Hermit
You don’t seem to have much of a life. Is quarantine life really different for you?
Love,
Greg, parts unknown
Hi, Greg! While working at Propeller is exhausting, and a privilege I take seriously, I do get out of the house. I can’t go into the Propeller office anymore (even pre-pandemic), but I used to go to shows. In fact, as proof, we will be counting down Propeller’s top five live performances we saw in 2019, starting with:
5. The National: August 30, 2019, Edgefield, Troutdale, Oregon. The addition of female background singers on their 2019 album—and in concert—made an already great live experience even better.
Since we are going with the live theme this installment, we’ll give a proper send-off to our eliminated artists with live videos because next year’s countdown may not have any live-video options.
Sideline reporter Alvin Bracketology is reporting that losers bracket round seven is complete and winners bracket round five is underway. We now reveal the next four albums. WAIT! Breaking news: Though the format and logistics have yet to be finalized, Propeller can now confirm that any album in the final 32 will automatically advance to the extra-mega tournament to decide the album of the decade 2010-19 coming to the pages of Propeller late summer or early fall. It’s going to be a huge event, one that will likely be bigger than an intern could handle.
Should I let the writer know that there is nothing difficult about posting inane blather, and that the only thing that takes time is deleting all of weird extra spaces and tabs in the copy he turns in? Is he typing these articles in a 1980s version of WordPerfect? Doesn’t matter. My internship ends at the end of spring quarter and I don’t care anymore. —Intern
32. Foals: Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost, Part 1
31. Alex Lahey: The Best of Luck Club
30. Shura: Forevher
29. Yola: Walk Through Fire
Foals most likely will have some wildcard entries in the decade tournament, as we overlooked some of their earlier albums from the decade. The band also places No. 99 in this year’s tournament, though theirs was not the best double entry this year (more on that later—soon, actually). Lahey finished No. 67 in 2017, while Shura makes her countdown debut. British singer Yola also makes her debut and we give her a tribute here:
Why does he write “we give her a tribute here” when all that he’s doing is posting a video? Doesn’t that seem like the weirdest, creepiest phrase a person could possibly use? The only possible way to even read that phrase is in the voice of Vincent Price, but I also can’t imagine Vincent Price introducing a clip of, like, Country Joe and the Fish. Bizarre, just bizarre. —Intern
I had tickets to the Foals coming up this month, which reminds me that we have two countdowns going on. We pause this Bracketology countdown to resume another countdown revealing the top five concerts of 2014:
4. Lee Fields and the Expressions, Dec. 10, 2019, Roseland Theater, Portland, Oregon: Lee Fields may be pushing seventy but he can still belt out soulful love songs and dance all night—or at least for ninety minutes. As our spirit angel Casey Kasem would say: Now, on with the countdown.
28. Sault: 5
27. Palehound: Black Friday
26. Vagabon: Vagabon
If you Google Sault, you won’t find videos, band member bios, or anything useful for that matter—except for the music. The British (maybe?) band hit the blogosphere with intrigue and great music, releasing two stellar albums this year, but they remain an enigma. Regardless, their second album of the year, 7, finished 49th, while their debut finishes 28th. Palehound improves on its 2017 finish of 83rd. Vagabon also competed in 2017 but came up short. This year, she finished 26th.
25. MUNA: Saves the World
MUNA finishes 25th to end losers bracket round 7. MUNA continues a trend in the top 32 of artists finishing higher than they did in 2017, when MUNA was 36th. Before we go down to Alvin Bracketology for his coverage of winners bracket round five, we pause to reveal the next spot in our countdown of live performances of the year, coming from someone who released a 2020 album with Top 20 potential:
3. Caroline Rose: Oct. 13., Austin City Limits Festival. Toward the end of her set at ACL, Rose said “for those of you just getting here, we’re Thom Yorke.” That line alone was more entertaining than a Thom Yorke show, and that was just five seconds of a thoroughly entertaining 45-minute set.
I don’t get it. No, I know who Thom Yorke is, I’m not dumb. But she said she and her band were Thom Yorke, and then thirty white guys fell over laughing? Did she also throw cream pies? Did someone play kazoo? Am I missing something here? —Intern
Breaking news: The winners bracket round 5 has concluded, with the best match-up featuring Lizzo versus Elbow. Lizzo heads to the losers bracket, where she’ll face two-time runner-up Kishi Bashi, who lost to Elbow in the first round, then won seven in a row. Elbow may have the most difficult draw so far but the British band continues to move on. In the losers bracket, Norwegian singer Sigrid defeated Lana Del Rey, who never really tickled Propeller’s fancy until 2019. Sigrid is also a newcomer to the countdown but made quite an impression, including live:
2. Sigrid: Oct. 11 at the Scoot Inn, Austin, TX. A young Norwegian singing peppy pop songs under the stars of a divey inn after hours with a yummy hot dog cart nearby? It was even 18 times better than it sounds. And now back to the results:
As a member of Gen Z, I’m used to reading text messages that are a mix of abbreviations, emoji, and nonsense. But this boomer has just written “a young Norwegian singing peppy pop songs under the stars of a divey inn after hours with a yummy hot dog cart nearby.” I have no idea what that means. What could that possibly mean? I will no longer be listening to any criticism of “generational” communication styles. —Intern
24. Lana Del Rey: Norman F*****g Rockwell
23. Jenny Lewis: On the Line
22. Vampire Weekend: Father of the Bride
21. Little Simz: Grey Area
Vampire Weekend lost in consecutive rounds to Dave and then American rapper Rapsody, dropping the Brooklyn boys to No. 2. It’s the first time Vampire weekend finished outside of the top 10 in three tries. They also finish just behind another British Rapper, Little Simz.
20. Ex Hex: It’s Real
19. The Delines: The Imperial
18. Sharon Van Etten: Remind Me Tomorrow
Ex Hex follows up a No. 5 finish in 2014 with another strong showing. Sharon Van Etten finishes in the top 20 for the third time, but we now honor No. 19, the Delines, winners of Propeller’s 2019 award of local excellence, a prestigious award that honors the best album of the year from a Portland band.
No. 1 on the live performance countdown belongs to the same woman at No. 17.
1. Lizzo: July 19 at Edgefield. 2019 belonged to Lizzo. She was everywhere—on every award show, NPR Tiny Desk Concerts (performing a “tiny-ass” desk), and major festivals, who booked her long before she became a household name. But she’s best with a smaller crowd, playing her flute, singing her anthems, and preaching body positivity. Nobody entertained more than Lizzo last year.
17. Lizzo: Cuz I Love You
As always, you can follow along with the results at https://challonge.com/o2dgx73n. Next installment, we’ll get down to the Final Four.
105. J. J. Cale: Stay Around
104. The Murder Capital: When I Have Fears
103. Solange: When I Get Home
102. Ximena Sariñana: Dónde Bailarán las Niñas?
101. Highwomen: The Highwomen
100. Cherry Glazerr: Stuffed and Ready
99. Foals: Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost, Part 2
98. The Far Meadow: Foreign Land
97. Weyes Blood: Titanic Rising
96. The Beaches: The Professnal EP
95. Soweto Kinch: The Black Peril
94. Guster: Look Alive
93. Black midi: Schlagenheim
92. The Get Up Kids: Problems
91. Griz: Ride Waves
90. Bob Mould: Sunshine Rock
89. Billy Woods & Kenny Segal: Hiding Places
88. Control Top: Covert Contracts
87. Kap Bambino: Dust, Fierce, Forever
86. Diane Coffee: Internet Arms
85. Kate Tempest: The Book of Traps and Lessons
84. Lucy Dacus: 2019
83. The Osyx: The OSYX
82. Summer Cannibals: Can’t Tell Me No
81. Psapp: Tourists
80. Kaina: Next to the Sun
79. American Football: LP3
78. Yanissa: 15.19
77. The Ocean Blue: Kings and Queens / Knaves and Thieves
76. Anna Meredith: FIBS
75. Ladytron: Ladytron
74. Lee Fields & the Expressions: It Rains Love
73. Helado Negro: This is How You Smile
72. BBES: At the Party With My Brown Friends/Fruit Bats: Gold Past Life
71. Ariana Grande: thank u, next
70. Y La Bamba: Mujeres
69. Angel Olsen: All Mirrors
68. Gallant: Sweet Insomia
67. Bedouine: Birds Songs of a Killjoy
66. Denzel Curry: ZUU
65. Baroness: Gold & Grey
64. Drew Holcomb & the Neighbors: Dragons
63. Sleater-Kinney: The Center Won’t Hold
62. Pedro the Lion: Phoenix
61. Allen Stone: Building Balance
60. Indoor Pets: Be Content
59. Joan Shelley: Like the River Loves the Sea
58. Strand of Oaks: Eraserland
57. PINE: PINE
56. Black Belt Eagle Scout: At The Party With All My Brown Friends
55. Graveyard Club: Goodnight Paradise
54. Orville Peck: Pony
53. Gabrielle Papillon: Shout
52. Haviah Mighty: 13th Floor
51. Kaytranada: Bubba
50. Charly Bliss: Young Enough
49. Sault: 7
48. Dylan LeBlanc: Renegade
47. The Black Tones: Cobain and Cornbread
46. Joseph: Good Luck, Kid
45. Purple Mountains: Purple Mountains
44. Ari Lennox: Shea Butter Baby
43. Tyler Childers: Country Squire
42. Jay Som: Anak Ko
41. Black Pumas: Black Pumas
40. Sudan Archives: Athena
39. Automatic: Signal
38. Pip Blom: Boat
37. Aldous Harding; Designer
36. The Regrettes: How Do You Love?
35. Tacocat: This Mess Is a Place
34. Fontaines, D.C.: Dogrel
33. Kills Birds: Kills Birds
32. Foals: Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost, Part 1
31. Alex Lahey: The Best of Luck Club
30. Shura: Forevher
29. Yola: Walk Through Fire
28. Sault: 5
27. Palehound: Black Friday
26. Vagabon: Vagabon
25. MUNA: Saves the World
24. Lana Del Rey: Norman F*****g Rockwell
23. Jenny Lewis: On the Line
22. Vampire Weekend: Father of the Bride
21. Little Simz: Grey Area
20. Ex Hex: It’s Real
19. The Delines: The Imperial
18. Sharon Van Etten: Remind Me Tomorrow
17. Lizzo: Cuz I Love You
Matthew Kauffman Smith continues to do this.
