Album Bracketology, Part Three: Descent into Madness
[Editor’s note: Propeller’s editorial staff has returned from spring break, but has refused for many years now to work on Album Bracketology articles. Though we are again allowing Matthew Kauffman Smith to finish publishing a double-elimination “music tournament,” his system for determining his favorite album of the previous year is confusing and his taste in music is mediocre. We have encouraged our design intern to use these articles to explore web design potentials. Anyone reading beyond this point does so at their own risk.]
By Matthew Kauffman Smith
Dear Bracket Dufus,
Can you just cut to the final, save us all some time?
Xoxo,
Jeff, Salem, Oregon
Hi, Jeff! Thanks for reading. Believe it or not, we get dozens (if not hundreds) of letters similar to this every year, and only half of them are from Jeff in Salem. That is a lot of people excited about the final reveal. If we skipped to the end, however, we’d skip over all of the intricacies of the tournament. What if the NCAA had skipped the first round last year and everyone missed a No. 1 seed losing for the first time? What if the NCAA skipped the women’s semifinals last year and everyone missed Arike Ogunbowale’s last second heroics? Sure, we would have seen her make a similar buzzer beater in the final, but Ogunbowale’s second game winner was even more impressive in the context of the whole tournament.
Thank you, Jeff, for your suggestion, but if we skipped ahead, you’d miss out on a video from Propeller’s Polka Song of the Year.
I left the author’s spelling of doofus here, because I was told we don’t edit the content of these articles. Does this mean I can’t delete the video with Jimmy Fallon in it, though? I get that we know the author has bad taste, but just the sight of Jimmy Fallon makes me physically angry.
I feel like the decisions about which albums win are the result of a weird algorithm cooked up by media company publicists. You’re saying this author is a real person, though, right?
Back to the tournament, where we have moved from 256 albums all the way down to 32. We should make Jeff happy by saying this edition will reveal the Final Four—at least in the winner’s bracket. We’ll go down to the Final 12 total. There are some impressive streaks going on in the losers bracket, including 2010 champion Dr. Dog, who lost in the first round to Jeff Rosenstock but has since won seven in a row, including defeating Courtney Marie Andrews. Also falling in losers bracket round 7 is M. Ward, who places his third album in the Album Bracketology top 32, Everything But the Girl’s Tracey Thorn, and Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse, which won the Superhero Movie Soundtrack of the Year and is probably the only way Post Malone will ever make it into Album Bracketology.
32. M. Ward: What a Wonderful Industry
31. Hop Along: Bark Your Head Off Dog
30. Tracey Thorn: Record
29. IDLES: Joy as an Act of Resistance
28. Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse
Speaking of Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse, the movie inspired two parallel universe tournaments, Parallel universe double elimination and Parallel universe single elimination.
We return to the official bracket, as the losers bracket round 7 comes to a close, we move into the top 25 and give a special mention to Mary Gauthier, who wrote music to lyrics written by veterans and their families.
27. Courtney Marie Andrews: May Your Kindness Remain
26. Sunflower Bean: Twentytwo in Blue
25. Mary Gauthier: Rifles and Rosary Beads
Australasia update: After New Zealand and Australian bands went undefeated in the last round, there are still four representatives left from the Australasia Album of the Year.
Breaking news: Sideline reporter Alvin Bracketology is reporting that Screaming Females have defeated Middle Kids in losers bracket round 8, meaning Australasia is down to three albums left. Australian countrywomen Courtney Barnett and Camp Cope, however, will face off momentarily in losers bracket round 8. Meanwhile, New Zealand band The Beths have moved into the winners bracket final four.
24. Middle Kids: Lost Friends
23. Foxing: Nearer My God
22. Brandi Carlile: By the Way, I Forgive You
Breaking news: Sideline reporter Alvin Bracketology is reporting that after Kacey Musgraves defeated Brandi Carlile in a battle of Grammy nominees for best album, Carlile bows out, losing to Orquesta Akokán from Cuba. But we salute Brandi Carlile on her way out.
Breaking news: Sideline reporter Alvin Bracketology is reporting that Camp Cope has defeated fellow Australian Courtney Barnett.
Bigger breaking news: Robyn, winner of the Scandinavian Album of the Year, has defeated Dr. Dog, meaning the Philadelphia band’s quest to become 2-time champions is over—at least for now. Robyn has a potential new rival to determine the best pop singer in all of Europe from French band Christine and the Queens, who finish No. 17.
21. Rubblebucket: Sun Machine
20. Courtney Barnett: Tell Me How You Really Feel
19. Amanda Shires: To the Sunset
18. Dr. Dog: Critical Equation
17. Christine and the Queens: Chris
Wait, I know I’m not supposed to intrude, but I just watched some of that video, and is Christine and the Queens a real band? And if so, how is that the seventeenth best album of 2018? I know lists generate discussion and disagreement, but I’m getting upset.
We’re down to the final four on the winner’s side with The Beths, Parquet Courts, Janelle Monae and Kacey Musgraves.
Kacey Musgraves? The Carters aren’t on this guy’s list at all. Anderson .Paak isn’t on the list. Mac Miller isn’t on the list. But Kacey Musgraves is in the final four? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
The Decemberists are moving through the losers bracket and still have a shot at becoming the first Album Bracketology repeat champion.
THE DECEMBERISTS? That’s it. If all I can do is the design, fine. I’m changing the header to Anderson, because this has turned into straight garbage.
Meanwhile, in losers bracket round 9, we say goodbye to young Australians Camp Cope, and not-so-young iconic folk singer John Prine. And in a great year for pissed-off, politically bent rock music, we offer a big farewell to the Screaming Females and Superchunk, who both placed their highest positions ever in Album Bracketology.
16. Camp Cope: How to Socialise and Make Friends
15. John Prine: The Tree of Forgiveness
14. Screaming Females: All at Once
13. Superchunk: What a Time to Be Alive
In the next installment, we’ll whittle this tournament down to four total. As always, you can follow along with the official bracket at https://challonge.com/mq7yyzrk.
105. Now, Now: Saved
104. Iceage: Beyondless
103. Shannon and the Clams: Onion
102. Tove Stryke: Sway
101. Superorganism: Superorganism
100. H.C McEntire: Lionheart
99. First Aid Kit: Ruins
98. U.S. Girls: In a Poem Unlimited
97. Proclaimers: Angry Cyclist
96. Eternal Summers: Every Day Feels Like I’m Dying
95. Interpol: Marrauder
94. MGMT: Little Dark Age
93. Twin Shadow: Caer
92. Town Mountain: New Freedom Blues
91. The Love Language: Baby Grand
90. We Were Promised Jetpacks: The More I Sleep, the Less I Dream
89. Kero Kero Bonito: Time ‘n’ Place
88. Cupcakke Euphorize
87. Michael Rault: It’s a New Day Tonight
86. Birdtalker: One
85. Mitski: Be the Cowboy
84. Ume: Other Nature
83. The Struts: Young and Dangerous
82. Tunng: Songs You Make at Night
81. Kamasi Washington: Heaven and Earth
80. Tracyanne & Danny: Tracyanne & Danny
79. Dubstar: One
78. Ural Thomas and the Pain: The Right Time
77. The Joy Formidable: AAARTH
76. Viagra Boys: Street Worms
75. Panic! At the Disco: Pray for the Wicked
74. No Age: Snares Like a Haircut
73. Georgia Anne Muldrow: Overload
72. Shame: Songs of Praise
71. Kurt Vile: Bottle It In
70. Open Mike Eagle: What Happens When I Try to Relax
69. Angelique Kidjo: Remain in Light
68. Charles Bradley: Black Velvet
67. Neko Case: Hell-On
66. Maribou State: Kingdoms in Colour
65. Eleanor Friedberger: Rebound
64. Typhoon: Offerings
63. VHS Collection: Retrofuturism
62. The 1975: A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships
61. Bodega: Endless Scroll
60. Michigan Rattlers: Evergreen
59. Young Fathers: Cocoa Sugar
58. Pistol Annies: Interstate Gospel
57. Dirty Projectors: Lamp Lit Prose
56. Black Panther soundtrack
55. Shakey Graves: Can’t Wake Up
54. Laura Gibson: Goners
53. Kali Uchis: Isolation
52. Shad: A Short Story About War
51. Doug Paisley: Starter Home
50. Chvrches: Love is Dead
49. Art Brut: Wham! Bang! Pow! Let’s Rock Out!
48. Vance Joy: Nation of Two
47. Chanti Darling: RNB Vol. 1
46. Brazilian Girls: Let’s Make Love
45. Death Cab for Cutie: Thank you for Today
44. Laurel: DOGVIOLET
43. Gregory Alan Isakov: Evening Machines
42. Snail Mail: Lush
41. The Goon Sax: We’re Not Talking
40. Flasher: Constant Image
39. Noname: Room 25
38. Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever: Hope Downs
37. Sons of Kemet: Your Queen is a Reptile
36. Rosalia: El Mal Querer
35. Speedy Ortiz: Twerp Verse
34. Jorja Smith: Lost & Found
33. boygenius: boygenius EP
32. M. Ward: What a Wonderful Industry
31. Hop Along: Bark Your Head Off Dog
30. Tracey Thorn: Record
29. IDLES: Joy as an Act of Resistance
28. Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse
27. Courtney Marie Andrews: May Your Kindness Remain
26. Sunflower Bean: Twentytwo in Blue
25. Mary Gauthier: Rifles and Rosary Beads
24. Middle Kids: Lost Friends
23. Foxing: Nearer My God
22. Brandi Carlile: By the Way, I Forgive You
21. Rubblebucket: Sun Machine
20. Courtney Barnett: Tell Me How You Really Feel
19. Amanda Shires: To the Sunset
18. Dr. Dog: Critical Equation
17. Christine and the Queens: Chris
16. Camp Cope: How to Socialise and Make Friends
15. John Prine: The Tree of Forgiveness
14. Screaming Females: All at Once
13. Superchunk: What a Time to Be Alive
Matthew Kauffman Smith is still doing this.
