Secret tips for people who want to start reading again.

BY MATTHEW HEIN

Trying to Get Back into Reading Books? Here are some secret tips and how-to hints from the experts!

1. Read what interests you. It’s all books.
2. Nobody cares what you read.
3. Get comfy.
4. Charge your phone way over there.
5. Try a different book.
6. Grab the books you’ll read today.
7. Don’t sweat the books you haven’t read.
8. Be yourself.

If you are interested in this book, don’t buy some other book. It is okay to buy this book.

1. Read what interests you. If you like chocolate ice cream, don’t buy peppermint.

Charlie Manson? Sex Pistols? Soccer? Silicon Valley? Queer culture in Haiti a hundred years ago? There are lots of books about all those things—both true and fiction. On the other hand: Did you like Die Hard? Read the original novel, then the oral history, then The Ultimate Visual History (released Nov. 2019 by Insight Editions). It’s all books.

2. Nobody cares what you read.

It’s sort of freeing, in an existential way. That’s why you can read about whatever you want. Nobody will hire or fire or date you based on what you read. Believe me, I’ve tried. Nobody cares.

Was the set of Die Hard a comfortable space for reading? A book reveals that it probably was not. — Was the set of *Die Hard* a comfortable space for reading? A book reveals that it probably was not.

3. Get comfy.

No matter how good my intentions, I kept turning to screens instead of books. Then I realized: My reading space was too dark to read! So I bought a lamp and upgraded the lightbulb. I also bought some graham crackers and reading glasses, because apparently I’m old. Now I have a corner where I kick my feet up, chomp a graham cracker with my coffee, and read under a nice light for twenty minutes every morning, then again with a Guinness at night. Figuratively, I’m kicking it.

4. Charge your phone way over there.

There’s no better time to charge your devices way out of reach. Besides, if you’re reading and charging simultaneously, you’re basically multitasking. If you don’t know a word or definition, that’s okay. Unlike French kissing, it eventually makes sense. Also unlike French kissing, you may circle the confusing parts with a pencil.

5. Try a different book.

You don’t like the book you started? Read to page eleven, then try a different book. That’s why you always get two books. Did you like every movie you ever saw? Every app you ever tried? Every French kiss you’ve experienced? (No. The answer is no.)

Leave tomorrow for tomorrow. Think about today instead. In Die Hard, when John McClane writes, “Now I have a machine gun / ho-ho-ho,” what is important is the now. People overlook this. — Leave tomorrow for tomorrow. Think about today instead. In *Die Hard*, when John McClane writes, “Now I have a machine gun / ho-ho-ho,” what is important is the *now*. People overlook this.

6. Grab the books you’ll read today.

As Jesus sang in Jesus Christ Superstar, “Leave tomorrow for tomorrow / Think about today instead.” So true, Jesus! Only buy the books you want to read right now. If someday you’re the kind of person who likes some other book (or movie, or cookie, or kiss), that’s all tomorrow’s party /person / problem. If there’s a should and a want, pick the want.

7. Don’t sweat the books you haven’t read.

You know what I have? Books I haven’t read. Also: clothes I’m not wearing right now. And: instruments I’m not playing. Additionally: tools I’m not using, brooms I’m not riding, leftovers I’m not eating, floss I only use once a day. No one can do all these things at the same time. I’m sorry. None of us is perfect. So: Does it bring you pleasure, right now? Start there.

Has Bill Gates read books? Probably, but this is neither here nor there. Yippee ki-yay.

AFTERWORD / BONUS TRACKS

8. Something I didn’t expect.

Here’s something I didn’t expect: Men confiding in me that they wanted to start reading again, and asking for suggestions.

The men are sincere. Maybe they’ve read in a Lifehacker or Bulletproof blog that Bill Gates used to read books, or maybe they just feel like reading books is something they should do.

9. Question: What do these seven books not have in common?

War and Peace
1984
Catch 22
Don Quixote
Ulysses
To Kill a Mockingbird
The Help

Answer: These are the seven books my search engine suggested to me when I entered the query, “Get back into reading.” These are mostly bad suggestions. So I’m still smarter than the first page of Google, as of 2020. And so are you.

Saint Pio of Pietrelcina said, "Through the study of books one seeks God; by meditation one finds Him." Neither assertion seems necessarily true, which Pio probably would have acknowledged if he had read Die Hard: The Ultimate Visual History. — Saint Pio of Pietrelcina said, "Through the study of books one seeks God; by meditation one finds Him." Neither assertion seems necessarily true, which Pio probably would have acknowledged if he had read *Die Hard: The Ultimate Visual History*.

10. You needn’t change your life.

But go ahead if you want to. I get it. As my friend Lizzie said before moving to L.A., “Sometimes it’s easier to make a big change than a little change.” So go ahead and make a big goal for yourself, if that’s your style. As long as you’re happy.

But seriously, does everything you do have to change your life? What was the last dessert you ate? Did it change your life? Just have a little dessert, but have it first thing in the morning, instead of flipping through headlines. Kick your feet up, and read a book for twenty minutes.

And another thing: give yourself a little treat. People used to smoke tobacco while reading. Surely you can have a little something. I like a graham cracker, and fancy coffee, with a good book. It sure beats the shit out of meditating. In fact, it’s a goddamn pleasure.

Matthew Hein works at two bookstores in San Diego.